Three Things Thursday

#1: Kill me at the Dr's Office, Please
 Yesterday was my follow up exam with my Orthopedist.

.....or rather my 2 hour wait in the waiting room followed by the two minute actual Dr visit. Yeah....$20 copay WELL spent.

Oh and it gets better! The Asshole family stumbled in behind me, sat next to me with the hyperactive child who for 45 minutes bashed his noise toy against his chair which caused his toy to repeat the same song over......and over......and over......and over......again......

Then the little shit RAN INTO MY LEFT KNEE (the bad knee).....COME ON!!!! Meanwhile Mom and Grandma are each on their cell phones completely oblivious to what their little terror is doing.

If that isn't visual birth control, I don't know what is.

Now back to the Orthopedist. For two minutes I basically explained what I was doing and how things weren't improving, so he asks, "Have you had an MRI yet?".........*face palm*

Why can't my Orthopedist at least be a hot one?

#2: The Muppets Are Back!!!
I love the Muppets, and am looking forward to seeing the new movie this Thanksgiving. The trailers for it so far are flipping AWESOME.

"Hey look, Fart Shoes!".........and they even snuck in Manahmana!

This is the best one:

#3: Wardrobe Malfunction
I got lucky.....VERY lucky the other night. Was changing and about to hop into the pool when I noticed something wrong my swim jammers. Yep, there was a gigantic rip in the seam. Glad I caught it then before I put em on! I got 3 solid seasons out of them, so it was no big deal to retire them.

So my PSA is: Check your gear for holes, tears, and rips every now and then.

Q: Have you ever had a wardrobe malfunction in a public setting? Or know someone who has?

This Commercial Makes Me ANGRY!!!!!

First, just watch:

Maybe I am being waaaaaaaaay over sensitive or just looking to pick a fight, but there is something about this commerical that makes me bang my head into my desk, do many face palms, and get that stomach twisting effect of awkwardness only Michael Scott can provide.

I have nothing against her. Its just something about him. I guess its when he asks, "What is a marathon? 26 point.....?"

and then blah blah blah blah, "Anyone can run 26, its that last......."

Now, you all know I have given up on society knowing what a marathon is, afterall, I just ran a marathon this morning by running that 100 yards to my car.

But if you were a marathon runner, and you were on a first date with a non runner (obviously he is NOT a runner!), and the person opposite you asked, "What is a marathon? (insert guessed distance here)" What would you do?

And yes, I am prolly just trying to pick a fight because I am grasping at straws. But hey! Its a Tuesday, so why not!

Pictures Only To Sum Up My Weekend

Injury Update: There is Hope

I had a MAJOR setback this week regarding my knee. Bummer....

Last week was a HUGE turnaround. I ran 4 times and each run got better and more pain free. Last Saturday's run was a nice and easy 40 mins of bliss. I felt like this was it: The Turnaround.

Que Sunday: With my tri bike all refitted and my cycling strength returning I went out for a 60 min cruise. The only thing that hurt were my arms, due to the lack of riding in that position. Unfortunately by the end of the ride I felt "that" pain in the medial area of the knee cap. Crap. Its not the aero position that is causing the pain, its standing up and climbing on that bike that is causing the pain. Must be the cramped position that is causing me to wrench my knee in a bad way. So no more TT bike this Fall :(

I iced and took my anti-inflammatory meds, hoping to nip the pain.

Que Monday: Another easy 40 min run. Although I felt some pain, it wasn't horrible. Later that day at work it got worse, and worse, and worse. The "movie goers" knee returned. Shit. That night I am at PT and they have me warm up for 10 minutes on the stationary bike. I lasted 2 minutes and 30 seconds. WHAT THE HELL!!!!

Que Tuesday: I lasted 20 minutes on the trainer before I could pedal no longer. Fuck.

Que Wednesday: Day off from biking or running. I had finally HAD IT! I did last the full 10 minutes on the stationary bike at PT, but I told me PT I am done for now.

Sooooo after talking to my coach I did nothing today, and nothing tomorrow, and will try a short and easy run on Saturday. If I feel this thing act up ONCE, I am stopping, and walking home, but with my head high and calling it a month with both biking and running.

Before I go COMPLETELY all negative Nancy on you, THERE IS HOPE!!!

After looking at my logs (this is why you keep logs!) the past two years, I have taken a break from running every September. Last year, I ran a total of 20 miles during the entire month of September. That was partly due to a 10 day vacation down in Florida, but mostly due to tendinitis in my left foot. I was still able to rally, and come back stronger than ever in October and ultimately PR a 10K race in early December, before settling into Ironman training in January.

THERE IS HOPE!!!!

Its getting colder out. Have you calculated your Jen's Factor yet?

The fine folks at Cyclocosm have provided us with a guide to winter wear on the bike, compared to Jens Voigt. I guess it could apply to running as well? For those of you who don't know who Jens Voigt is, he is the BAMF of the peleton. Chuck Norris has got nothing on this guy, just check out the Jens Voigt facts.

Some examples: "The term "sufferfest" was originally coined to describe Jens' rest days" or "Jens Voigt has four heart rate training zones: anger, rage, fury and breakaway."

Back to clothing choices, my favorite "overview" is Jens Factor4:
Overview: ran your mouth and/or lost a bet
Apparel: balacalava, Hampsten Oaklies
Conditions: marginal, rugged, "epic"

But of course Jens Factor 6 takes the cake:
Overview: suicidal herosim
Apparel: spacesuit
Conditions: apocalyptic, biblical, hardcore

(source)

Today's Advice

That is all....

I'm A Mess, But I am Going to Keep this Positive!

I am a believer in Karma. Really.

You do something negative, nature is gonna find a way to get even. You do something positive, expect your good deed to be rewarded.

Sooooooo, for every "my life sucks" thing I write, I am gonna counter it with a "my life is awesome" thing. Cool?

Bad News: I met with my coach yesterday for an adjustment to my bike fit and we discovered that my left leg might be longer than my right leg. At PT this morning, we confirmed this. My left leg is 1/2 longer than my right! Son of A....! Its not that my bones are longer, but because my hips are so unaligned. One of my hip muscles is super tight, causing this. More stretches have been added....


Good News: I met with my coach  yesterday for an adjustment to my bike fit. He moved the position of my cleats and we adjusted my saddle height, moved it forward, and adjusted the bar height. Unfortunately I need a new saddle and longer 80mm stem. Fortunately! I found a BRAND NEW Selle Italia saddle and 80mm stem in my box of spare parts. Score!

Bad News: Getting anything done at work has been a major pain in the ass. We have had more power outages and network issues this past month than I can ever imagine.


Good News: I am getting a promotion! I am going from a "Fur Technical Director", jumping over the Senior level and straight to a "Lead Fur Technical Director" position. Basically doing all of the feather work on these two birds:

(source)

And the movie making nearly $500,000,000 worldwide helped things out!

Bad News: Tomorrow is supposed to be my first race since Placid, a 4 miler in Central Park. I can't do the race due to my lingering knee issue. Also, I am supposed to do a half marathon in Central Park in 2 weeks, but that race is out as well. I was hoping to PR the distance at that race....it will have to wait until January or March instead.


Good News: Yesterday I had a pain free ~38 minute run! My longest run yet without any pain. Now, I ran at a 9:30 pace the entire time, but I am taking this as a small victory! Seems that running slow is allowing me to run pain free AND keep my mental sanity in check.

Hope you have a great weekend!

A Shave and a Juicer

Boy is my training mojo just GONE! Its ok, my body needs the break, since it is basically broken.

So now that I don't ride 5 hours every Saturday and run forever every Sunday, I am still trying to find ways on how to be a "normal" person and fill the free time my weekends now provide.

For you guys out there, have you ever gotten a straight razor shave done?

I never have. It was quite the experience! Since this was a straight razor, i.e., no nice Mach3 shave gaurds, my first question to the guy was, "Sooooo, how long have you been doing this?" His response of 9 years was enough assurance.

And talk about a smooooooth shave! I wreaked of coco butter for the rest of the day.

My legs are still smoother ;)

Now, for the rest of you: Have you ever juiced before?

 

I'm gonna go into greater detail later why I bought a juicer, but holy crap is this thing amazing! It sounds like a freaking nuclear powered jet engine in my kitchen! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I made OJ first. Remember in Indiana Jones when the big German dude gets minced by the airplane's propellers? These poor oranges...it was an instant death!

Then I made apple cider. So the apple didn't disapear immediately until I pushed down on it with the pusher-downy-thing.... BAM! That apple was mush!

Oh! Side note: Did you know that non pasturized apple cider ferments naturally if you can stick into an airtight container that allows CO2 to escape? Well, I didn't, but now I do! And because I have all of this brewing equipment, I could literally start making apple cider TONIGHT.

Tis the season for apples this fall. I'm gonna make so many apple products, cider donuts included, that I am gonna be sick of apples by January!

TTT: GRRAAAARRRRR!!!!!

(The post of this title came to me on a whim, just like getting your pumick stumped or a dog tagging its wail.)

#1: I have ran two times this week. 30 minutes each, holding a 9+ min/mile pace. Shall we say I am about to start back all over again with this running thing? .....I am not allowed to run more than 30 mins, 4 times a week. Let's also say that my Ironman fitness confidence level has just been zapped. Bummer.

#2: I need to reshave my legs again :(......you know, so the tape holds!

#3: My toenail has yet to fall off......but boy does it want to!

I asked. You Answered. I Delivered.

And the Diagnosis is IN! Helloooooo Runner's Knee!

Its sorta anticlimactic that the orthopedist's diagnosis was classic runner's knee (I was hoping for a new syndrome that had never been seen and could be named after me) but at least its a well known issue that can be solved. I think the most frustrating part about this is that it took almost 4 weeks for the classic signs of runner's knee to finally develope. I mean, the first two weeks the pain was in the side of my knee, before it started to move across to the top of the knee cap and then to the bottom of the knee cap.

So yesterday was a whirlwind of Dr's and PT appointments. First, I got lucky with getting the Orthopedist appointment. After I had my general practitioner's appointment, I immediately called the orthopedist and the receptionist said, "I can fit you in either 9:30 tomorrow AM.........or October."

"9:30 please!!!!"

That was my biggest fear, not getting in until weeks or months later.

They were quick @ the orthopedist. X-rays were immediately taken:

This ruled out any signs of a stress fracture

Followed by the Dr's diagnosis of runner's knee. Then a Patt strap was placed on me for Patellar Support

 

Was prescribed a heavier than advil anti inflamatory for two weeks. Then I was off for my first of a 6 week trial of PT sessions. The first occured 2.5 hours after the Orthopedist appointment!

Taped, iced, and elevated

Lately due to the frustration of not being able to run, I have been taking my rage out on the road bike. I have been eating hills like crazy and the other night I was riding with a few coworkers when this group of roadies comes flying up behind us just as we are all going up this hill. I had had it. So I caught them all and then dropped them all. It felt good.....oh! And your Ironman bike fitness goes NOWHERE for loooong time.

But I still had to ice after that ride and another ride last night.....

 

At the end of PT, I get taped up with Kinesio tape for extra patellar support. Unfortunately having hairy legs does not play well with tape. It doesn't stick and hurts like heck taking it off. Sooooooo, I had to shave one leg around the knee....

I now know why male cyclists and triathletes shave their legs. They are vain! They just like to look at the definition of their legs ;) Now that I have funky tan lines and a partly shaved leg, should I just shave both legs? Uhg.....

So for three times a week for the next six weeks, I go into PT for leg strengthening. The PT's assessment yesterday was in line with what is causing the pain: My leg quad muscle is too weak compared to competing muscles that attach to the patella. Don't get me wrong! That quad muscle IS strong, just not AS strong as those competing muscles. Get it? It was a huge ego boost when Dr. Zelicof, told me "You are a strong guy, just imbalanced."

"IMBALANCED?!?! I already knew that! ..........Oh wait, you are talking about muscles! My bad!"

hahahahahahahhahahahaha!

Every Dr and PT yesterday asked me what was left of my season and I said NYC Marathon to each. But I have already accepted that unless a miracle occurs, I won't be going into that race in the form that I feel is required for running a marathon and making it count. So if the NYC Marathon doesn't occur, again, then I am ok with that.

Priority #1 is to GET HEALTHY!

And that is already in motion :)

Have a great long weekend and happy training!