Authorities in White Plains, NY early this morning conducted a raid on a one bedroom household after an anonymous tip lead Police to believe that triathlon drug trafficking was occurring inside the premises. The anonymous tipster also mentioned that lots of traffic was coming and going very early in the morning. Police hoped to catch the suspect on site.
Police Lieutenant Andy Potts, who lead the raid, told reporters, "We hit a significant gold mine with this raid. We seized 14 kilos, or 7 'bricks' of what are known as the on the street as triathlon burritos. They were some of the largest and most potent 'bricks' we have ever seized. A junkie on one of those could run for miles!"
But that was not all that was found in this raid, as Lieutenant Potts also reported, "4 packets of 'Gu' were found as well as measuring equipment and a 2 oz sample of triathlon fairy dust, also known as Infinit. With the equipment we found, this guy was surely distributing heavy volumes of material."
In fact this is not the first raid conducted on this premises. Suspect Jon Campbell, who was arrested with possession of a record 196 packets of Gu last December, was later found that morning on Rt 100 going about 23 mph on a Blue Cervelo. His USAT license had lapsed, so an additional charge of riding while unlicensed, a felony, was brought against him. More than likely the felony will be dropped down to a misdemeanor.
Since Mr. Campbell is currently out on Probation and he is a severe flight risk, bail was not granted at his arraignment in Westchester County Court.
Too funny! You are quite creative. Speaking of creative, did Rio come out yet? Was thinking about those pretty blue feathers the other day.
ReplyDeleteYes, very funny. I wonder how many of us have those scales in the kitchen?
ReplyDeleteI like how Potts was left behind to talk to the reporters and the other tri cops were chasing the suspect, I wonder if thats because Potts cant hang on the bike
ReplyDeleteWhats a triatlon burrito?
It is a good thing they didn't find your photo collection.... that snorkel picture was a crime. A crime of fashion! :) haha
ReplyDeleteu crack (pun intended) me up!
ReplyDeleteu should make yourself a booklet of these stories and then get them published! looove it! thnx for making my morning!
That is funny!
ReplyDeletehilarious. Loved the post man.
ReplyDeleteI heart Infinit :)
luv it :)
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAH!
ReplyDeleteLove the "caught doing 23mph on a blue cervelo." Please consider letting me draft off of you for all 112 miles of IMLP.
Absolutely frigging hilarious!!!!!
ReplyDeletein trouble again...
ReplyDeleteYou've got to share the recipe for these "traithlon burritos"
ReplyDeleteYou need rehab.
ReplyDeleteJon food = gooood !! great read
ReplyDeleteHa ha...too funny!
ReplyDeleteDude I hope your cell is big enough to run some short intervals in?
ReplyDeleteYou could do some weight lifting in the clink, as screw that, Triathletes don't need upper body strength (-:
Haha these are too funny. Hope Lohan is nearby to help conspire your next move.
ReplyDelete:)
ReplyDeleteOk, on a more serious front, they actually did a huge bust on my block about a week ago of some coke house! MY BLOCK! It wasnt at my house ;)
ReplyDelete