Friday, November 5, 2010

The 20 Most Brutally Honest Realizations of Race Day

Happy Friday!

Gonna be brutally honest here about what occurs on race day:

#1: You never sleep the night before your A++++ race
#2: Taking a dump prior to the race start is a necessity (why do you think the porto-potty line is so long...)
#3: Timing that dump is critical to race day success
#4: You always see two types of people in transition: The overconfident type and the scared shitless type
#5: Peeing in your wetsuit is a necessity (why do you think everyone is just standing around in the water?)
#6: When lining up at the start line, all you want to do is quit the sport
#7: When lining up at the start line, all of the tall people intimidate you (I am a short guy @ 5'7")
#8: Coming out of the swim basically completes the day; that hard part is over with
#9: Your legs feel like utter crap starting the bike; why are they iced?
#10: Passing the dude with the full aero diskwheel/helmet setup is awesome
#11: Farting on the bike happens. EVERYONE farts!
#12: You feel like a rockstar hitting the dismount line off the bike. You have the look of a rockstar.
#13: Spectators think you are a rockstar
#14: The first mile of the run SUCKS
#15: Seeing a fast mile 1 run split completes the day
#16: The nervous talker on the run REALLY is annoying
#17 The last 100 yards staring at the finish line feels like it takes an hour
#18: Crossing that finish line is the best thing in the world
#19: You always think you just won your age group
#20: The next morning's soreness is worse than any hangover

So there you have it. Observations of three complete seasons of racing. Feel free to add any of yours!


  1. - Getting chick on the bike, your first thought, there must be something wrong with my bike today.

    - When you hear vmooph, vmooph, VMOOOOPH, no need look over your shoulder, you know whats coming, Mr Disc Wheel

    - When getting passed on the bike, Mr Scream at the top of his lungs "ON YOUR LEFT" really, really, really annoys you at the moment

    - Those bouys sure seem alot farther apart in the water then on land.

    - 200 yards from the finish line, you zip your jersey back up, fix your race belt, but your sunglasses back on, straighten up your visor. You have to look good when crossing the finish line.

  2. All great observations and I love them all!

  3. Hilarious haha, will have to check back as people comment haha.

    Loved BDD's last comment haha so true.

    #After you pass each buoy on the swim you convince yourself that the red buoy was the LAST buoy only to see another red buoy approaching.

    #That you forgot to put your race belt on after the swim and pray to all that is holy that you don't get DQ'd

    #Even though you just hit the port a pot, you have to get right back in line for round 2.

    #After you finish you swear you will never do another triathlon again, yet the next weekend you are at the start line of a sprint haha!

  4. This is awesome - great list!!! I love, love, LOVE passing people with better gear than me!

    * After the race, you "try" to wash off the bodymarking, but somehow it doesn't all come off and you just happen to wear shorts everywhere else you go that day...

  5. This is a great list Jon!

    #2 & #3 are beyond important (-:

    #4 - I hope I am the second guy and it is because of #2 and #3 ..hehe

    #11 - I don't call it farting on the bike, it is more like crop dusting!

    #16 - I will apologize now for being that guy when we race TX70.3 in April.

    #20 - I will apologize now because you obviously have not been on an all night bender with yours truly ... If you are up for it I promise a hangover that will make you wish for only soreness!

  6. u r a truth teller.
    not that i would know anything related to poop - after all, i am a lady (but everyone poops, dont tell anyone)

  7. love this.. but I disagree w/ #20.. would rather have race day soreness over a hangover any day!

  8. 1) No matter how many times you go to the porto-potti you always need to go once more.

    2) See number 1. Ten minutes after the race start you have to pee again.

    3) Every race I am disappointed the free beer they offer is Micholob Ultra.

    4) I always crave a beer mid-race.

    5) I am the guy who likes talking to someone when I run. (Sorry!!)

    6) @Big Daddy Diesel. I HATE that DARN "vmooph, vmooph, VMOOOOPH" noise. That was going to be my first comment. :-)

    7) Everyone else has nicer bikes, outfits, gadgets, etc.

    8) You are either the REALLY cool guy (see number 7) or you are they guy who feels he should not be in the same race as the guy from #7.

    9) My bike will ride PREFECT till race day. During race day, the derailleur will always make a darn clicking noise.

    10) You will never blow a tire during training but you can guarantee it will occur during a race.

    11) You look like an idiot in spandex but so does everyone else but the really buff young guy or the 18 yo supermodel.


  9. Every camera you see you will think "I am going to look so good in this picture. I am form perfected" all of those pictures will suck. The best one will be by the photographer you don't see.

  10. -It seems that triathletes come out of the woodwork on race day.

    While setting up my transition, I'm always amazed at how I don't see any of these people when I'm working out. Great post by-the-way!

  11. Thanks for the post. I had a good laugh while preparing for my race sunday!!

  12. Ha ha...I loved you list and all the other ones from the other comments! They all took the things I would have added! Awesome!!

  13. I need to fix a tire:)
    Im going to buy one for my new trainer and DO IT MYSELF

  14. You nailed each one of these! :) And I love the others that have been added! Maybe an ongoing list is in order???

  15. I tried to comment earlier but blogger lost it. :(

    One thing is that the swim is always the wrong distance.

    The first 2 post race beers don't count as anything beyond rehydration.

    PS: #7 is backwards. I'm 6'2" The midgets are most frightening.

  16. I love the list and the comments! As Colleen said, I'd love to see an ongoing list.

    My Additions-

    1) No matter how much sunscreen you apply, you WILL miss a spot (and pay for it)

    2) No matter how flat or smooth the race director claims the bike course to be, you'll grumble every time you hit a rough spot or hill

    3) There will always be one guy who racks his bike the wrong way

  17. This is great! Such an honest observation...I appreciate such an effort to noticed this things...

    --kizzy smartwool

  18. If you take Immodium the night before and morning of a race, 2 and 3 will not be an issue.

  19. Huh. I should have looked at this before my race! Good true!


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