Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Decoding the Menu: What I did this past (sadistic) weekend

The other weekend up in Lake Placid was easy.

There, I said it!!!

Easy compared to this past weekend. I have never felt so defeated like this before, where my body wanted to go, but A) couldn't sit down on the saddle anymore and B) The legs were just laughing at me. I ran the slowest run of my life Sunday morning and bailed 15 mins short.

(really it is the combination of last weekend and this past weekend that has obliterated me....)

So in case you glazed over the descriptions to my Chateau le Pain (and I am not talking about french bread!) Menu Post, I tastefully (pun intended) described the slaughter (again, pun intended) that my coach served (sorry!) me. Here is the literal translation.


The Beat Down
4 succulent tastings of OUCH, each getting tastier after the next. Takes one hour to consume each.
What actually happened: 80 miles and 4 hours, 9 mins later, I knocked off a progression ride where I had to up the ante every hour. (started off @ 72 degrees, ended in mid 80's and sunny). I stopped after 3 hours and just grabbed a cold bottle of water and sipped it. I don't think I have ever cherished cold water like that before! The heat was killing me!

The Sole Sucker
110 minutes to prepare, only five to kill. Cooked over a brick. You will be running for the hills!
What actually happened: I bricked it for 76 mins. 9 miles later in blistering (literally!) 85 degree heat I was cooked. Longest bike to run to date. I think this was more brutal than a Half Ironman. Considering my pace evened out at an 8:25 in those conditions, I am patting myself on the back for a job well done. (I suffer in the heat!).....and my arms were blistered from the Lake Placid weekend arm sunburns. OUCH!

I seem to have accumulated quite the bug collection during the day.


The Leg Peeler
45 mins of slowly roasted leg of lamb
 What actually happened: I made it almost 33 minutes before I called it quits. I was averaging over a 10 min/mile pace. For me, that is so slow that there is no point in running. I thought my legs would loosen up but they felt worse and worse as the run went on. No point in this! I was doing more harm than good so I swallowed my pride, walked home almost 2 miles, ate a gigantic breakfast, had a good long stretch, and went back to sleep for 3 hours.

Beaten Beef
For this 2.5 hour eating experience, you will enjoy the fine qualites of tenderized filet of HEART. Served on a cheese wheel.
What actually happened: With my confidence totally shelled, and the temps at 4pm still in the mid 80's, lets just say I had little hope that this ride was going to be worth it. But I trudged on. My ass is so freaking chafed from riding so much, that I pulled out all of the guns for my poor butt on this ride. I tweeted:

I added some motivation to the bike by riding 10 miles to the Tri Ridgefield Sprint bike course (which is next weekend! Yikes! Where did that come from?!?!), did two loops of the course, then came back to total 44 miles. After 124 miles in two days, 650 miles for the month, my ass can't take it anymore!!!

For all of you future first time Ironman-ers. One piece of advice before you start the crazy miles on the bike, take care of your butt!!!!!

Nada. Nothing. Zilch! Total rest day! Tried to go to the pool, but it was closed. Went to a BBQ and socialized and felt human.


Creme Brutal Souffle
16-18 samplings of Souffle. Takes between 8 and 9 minutes to consume each.
Wine Pairing: Moscato D' Feet Hurt
What actually happened: I ran my farthest run ever: 17.09 miles in 2:30:00 flat. I started the run at 5AM and even then @ 68 degrees and 100% humidity, my body was revolting on me. I was struggling to get below a 9 min/mile pace and took almost an hour for my body to really get going. The final 90 mins were a LOT better than the first 60.

So wanna hear some totals from the past 7 days?
Swim: 10,000 yards
Bike: 183 miles
Run: 44 miles
Hours: 17.5
My Soul: Gone to the devil
My knees: The Mob whacked em with a friggin baseball bat. Capiche?

So to add one more food pun in here, I AM COOKED!!! Fortunately I guess I am getting a rest week this week. Yay! Rest is aaaaalllll relative, so this kind of rest on the grand scheme of things still might not be considered "rest." Well hopefully I will be sharp by Sunday's Sprint race up in Ridgefield, CT.

Happy Training!


  1. Sounds like a delicious menu of pain and suffering. Crazy/awesome!

  2. Reading this made me think of a blog post I read on Bicycling Mag's Fit Chick blog about suffering: http://bicycling.com/blogs/fitchick/2011/05/23/suffering/

  3. Holy crap man. The bright side (I always look for it) you are finding your body's limits and will be able to have a great idea of things to come from this weekend.

    Sounds like your coach has you dialed in pretty well to wear you down to that state haha.

    Great job man. I am very concerned with all of the biking you have put in to be having some chaffing issues now... I am hopeless come a couple weeks!

  4. Awesome work! Ice up those knees before the mob comes back :)

  5. Wonderful volume - you are going to own LP when it is all over my friend!

  6. that sounds like a fun week... I can hear "Rocky's Theme" in the background

  7. Excellent job! Better solve those chaffing and knee issues now. Pain can sneak up on you fast .... your job is to be faster!

  8. Wow awesome run! you are going to smoke Lake Placid Course!!!!

  9. Holy cow, those numbers are crazy!!! I love the Soul: gone to the devil! Ha ha!

  10. Those are some crazy numbers. That run was insane! Way to go!!!

  11. Dude, that's awesome! I know that you feel cooked, but with weekends like that, Ironman will be a walk in the park! I've told a few people that weekends like this are where you earn the title "Ironman"... the day of the race is just when you show off what you've done, and pick up your medal, hat and shirt! :)


  12. Wow. You are TOASTED!! That is crazy. Great work Jon!!

  13. Impressive total for the past week for sure!

  14. Awesome work!! Hardcore for sure!

  15. Holy Hardcore!!! Great job!!

  16. nice brick (and bugs:)
    great training
    and fantastic run!! gotta love 17mi @ 5am!!

  17. Wow, so this is what I am going to be doing, I admit, little scary

  18. Dude....this is unreal and all exciting to read at the same time. I can't wait to start that process of becoming an Ironman.

    You know what the end result is going to be and that is why all of this is so worth it.

    Keep it up Jon b/c it is inspiring.


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