Thursday, January 19, 2012

Ladies and Gentlemen, "EPIC" has jumped the shark

Dear Blogging and all things Internet community,

I plead from the bottom of my heart to do ONE thing and one thing only from now until January 1st, 2013. PLEASE STOP USING THE WORD EPIC.

Do you even know what it means?

"A long poem, typically derived from oral tradition, narrating the deeds and adventures of heroic or legendary figures or the history of..."

The Odyssey is EPIC. The dude was away from his wife for 20 years!!!

What is it that you have done or eaten or seen that is heroic or legendary?

The first time I ever heard the word epic used in a sentence to describe something athletic related was on a climb in Provence climbing from the village of Bonnieux up to the hilltown of Buoux. We passed by what I called "The Grand Canyon of Southern France. It was a majestic view! But not EPIC.

However, this omelette I am about to consume, is TASTY, but alas, is NOT epic.

That 3,000 yard swim I did last night, was HARD and CHALLENGING, but I'm sorry, was NOT epic,

Me beating Michael Phelps in a 100 butterfly race, would be considered IMPOSSIBLE, but still not EPIC. Him eating me for lunch if he were a zombie would be quite horrifying, yet funny, but alas, NOT epic.

Cervelo's new P5 could be considered one of the prettiest things known to man, but is NOT epic.

Di2 is one of the most wanted things I could ever want on my time trial bike, but still does not come close to being Epic.

Bacon in my opinion will NEVER jump the shark.

I thought EPIC could follow in the foot steps of bacon, but as hard as I want it to, it can't. Bacon wins and is above all things EPIC, needless to say.

So if you will oblige my desperate call for what I am asking, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE put the word down, for another 11.5 months.

Maybe 2013 will mark the return of EPIC? But in the meantime, I don't want to even think of the word.

Sincerely,

Just a guy who simply says, "Thanks!"

27 comments:

  1. Damn, what an EPIC post!

    Jusy because Odysseus was away from his wife for 20yrs does not make him EPIC by any means... don't you remember the Sirens he encountered on his boat? How do you think he shut them up? ... think about it... THERE IT IS! LOL!

    Just because you have not had the liberty of experiencing anything of EPIC proportions is NOT my fault. If you come to my 5k this weekend you will rescind this post. Trust me.

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  2. I second this request, all in favor ...

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  3. not to echo BDD but....EPIC POST!! :)

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  4. I am so epically overwhelmed by the magnitude that is this post. I don't think BDD, Matty O or Jen could have said it better. This post was EPIC!

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  5. Would any of these things be epic if Odysseus did/had/made them?

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  6. There is only one current case of Epic and that is Epic Bill Bradley.

    http://epicbillbradley.com/

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  7. I think I'm in love with you.

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  8. Shitty post! (Not really, but I apparently am not allowed to use the adjective I want so deal with it.) haha

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    Replies
    1. Maybe "killer" would be a suitable replacement? Of course "killer" will get old a LOT quicker...

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  9. The number of people talking about this topic is epic

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  10. Wait, not everything is EPIC AMAZEBALLS all day every day? Hmmmmmmm...

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  11. Wonderful. Just a tastefully written post that captures the essence of what you are trying to say without stooping to levels seen before in other literature.

    If I had to I would say that this post will become a classic as it will essentially end all use of a word that was not meant to be used in the way people are using it today.

    With that I close the book on the word epic the same way I closed the book on eating bacon. Both are and have been removed from my world.

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  12. I just laughed my ass off. Thank you for posting this!

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  13. I fully agree. Epic is completely overused and not used correctly, although, you had some incredible and extraordinary examples. Beating Michael Phelps would be redonkulous!

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  14. lol, this post is awesome! Hilarious timing, because I just went on a wine trip over the weekend, and I used the word epic a ton, it became the word of the trip! haha

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  15. today I saw a bacon sprinkled maple bar, and that my friend is EPIC!

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    Replies
    1. Sounds epic to me, and the glazed bacon topped donut I once had was seriously EPIC!

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  16. Amen, my friend! Thank you for voicing the much needed stop to the Twilight-induced frenzy that started the misuse of the word and unfortunately went mainstream from the tween-crowd.

    Funny reference, re: epic, here: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=epic

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  17. There is a child at the school I teach at named Epic. I'll repeat- I know a small child named...Epic.
    That seems like a lot to live up to, doesn't it?

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  18. The comments are hysterical. Beth and the dirtbag hurt my side from laughing. Still not epic.

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  19. Thank you... from someone who can't stand the word!!!

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  20. Know what else has jumped the shark?

    JUMPING THE SHARK. The Fonz has returned for a triple barrel roll over this tired phrase already.

    That, and zombies:

    http://www.thetruthaboutguns.com/2012/01/chris-dumm/shot-2012-im-so-sick-of-zombies-i-could-puke/

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  21. this is funny - i know one particular blog that uses the word "EPIC" like 500 times a post. (and it's not mine) :) really really hate that word.

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